The Good Life

Finally, after a year of moving on from a previous bad relationship, I’ve became whole again. And here he is, someone who showed care, love and appreciation. My boyfriend Marc. :) I’m willing to risk it again. For me and for him. For us.

Watching it burning, it’s beautiful and it’s blue

and it’s pitiful and it’s blue, it’s the other half of me

I didn’t do it you lit the match for me,Now we’re flying from the blast baby.

Firebomb- Rihanna

Celebrating love month without being in a romantic relationship has always been my scene ever since I was born. Don’t get me wrong, I have been in a couple of relationships before. Failed relationships that is. I have celebrated one in 2011 I guess but it wasn’t the happy romantic day. It was a day full of tears and bruises. If you get what I mean. Just in case you want to know, we broke up on the very same day. Lately friends and people who know me, are asking about the issue that spread out in Facebook. Yes. We’re not together anymore. We were never in a relationship. Summer of 2006, I met an Italian guy on a college exam review. We were in the same class. At first, everyone was shy to talk to everyone. But everyday we go to our classes, we started to get along real well. I became close to his group because I’m a bit boyish and I get along with guys pretty well. Everyday we drop by the coffee shop to hangout after class. In short, we became friends. Then after years of just Facebook as our means of communication, we bumped into each other, Summer of 2010. Of course, catching up was the most important thing that we did. He has always been the handsome guy, head turner that is. Everytime I’m with him, girls can’t stop from staring him. He’s half- Italian and half- Pinoy. The most admiring trait that he has is how stupid of him not to realize that he is THAT gorgeous. Then it all started. Him liking me more than a friend. We did care for each other even though I was in a bad relationship back then. He has always been a constant shoulder to cry on. The most patient person I’ve ever known. Believe me when I say that he is the most patient person. Then I broke up with my then boyfriend. That was the time he officially asked me if we could date, not just as friends but more than that. I came from an emotionally, physically abusive relationship and he knows that I’m not in the right shape to be committed. He waited, patiently. I also thought of how someone like him could ever like someone like me. We were opposites. He is the life of the party. I’m the wallflower. He is the handsome guy. I’m the fat kid. He is the patient one. I’m the hot-headed girl. How could he risk everything for me. Months pass and like all relationship, if we considered it as one, we had huge fights. Weeks pass that we don’t talk to each other. (ganda ko lang eh) Then this one night came when we already had enough and call it quits. The next night, he’s now in a relationship with one of his girl friends. Questions, messages, comments, wall posts immediately filled up my profile and his. Everyone is asking what happened? What really happened? The same question I asked myself. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I don’t know what to feel. It just hit me, he’s not coming back without even turning back or saying goodbye. To our friends and family, I cannot give you an explanation why and how it happened. But one thing is for sure, he’s not with me anymore. It’s maybe our fault. We knew we were not in love at all. We were just scared to see each other with somebody else. We were just afraid to admit that. It still hurts more that I though it would be. But i’m more than brave to rise up and face the questions. To you, thanks for being the most patient person in the world. You know me more than I know myself. You deserve to be happy even if it’s not with me. You made me the happiest girl in the world and I want you to do the same to your new girl. I may not be happy right now but I will be. Soon. Now, the issue is finally answered. Let’s just all be happy for everyone. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.

Stop searching.

(via asdfghjkllove)

Felt this when i read something from your Facebook timeline. Until now I cannot understand. I don’t want to understand.

(via just-the-way-you-arent)

The current song playing on the playlist of my life.

Doing it Wrong- Drake

But I can’t stay to hear you. That’s the wrong thing to do. Cause you’ll say you love me and I’ll end up lying, saying I love you too..

We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we’re together, cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else..

Makes sense?

Next on the list.

(via shelbyvictoria)

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

Getting you out of my mind is like separating the wind from the cloud. I’m so afraid of losing someone I never have.

A Rocket To The Moon: Like We Used To (ACOUSTIC) (by FueledByRamen)